(Great-grand)father knows best
Notes on a legacy of discipline and knowledge
My maternal great-grandfather, Lloyd Harding Bailer, was a disciplinarian—an economist and well-respected attorney raising six children in Queens, New York. He was an educated hard-ass. I missed him by four years and only know him through other people’s memory.
Most stories about him make me think I would have feared him. One in particular stands out: he’d call the landline to let my great-grandmother, Marvelyn, know he was headed home from work. Like the sound of a schoolyard bell, all the neighborhood kids who’d play in the house would hurry home. My grandpa Brent would get a call from his mom and race from my grandma Joy’s house across the tracks while his siblings and Marvelyn scrambled to clean up before my great-grandfather reached the front step.
You can probably guess what kind of man he was.
My mom’s memory of him is much different from that of her father or her aunts and uncles. Of course, she saw a softer side of him—likely because he had no responsibility over her, having already done his time raising six kids—two boys and four girls.
All that to say, my great-grandfather’s strict discipline has been gently passed down through the generations, especially when it comes to education. Growing up, my siblings and I were always encouraged to learn outside the classroom—creative play, physical activities, you get the idea.
Even during the summer, we had to journal every day and read a book a month. It paved the way for our creative and critical thinking skills. Thank God for that, because so many people walk this Earth with their brains switched off.
Another account I heard about him is how, every morning, he’d have my grandpa and his siblings read the New York Times or a local paper. He’d read it too, but at a much faster pace (he was a fast reader). After breakfast, he’d quiz them on what they read. If they didn’t get the right answer, he’d have them go back and reread it until they got it right.
My grandma, Joy recently shared this story with me again, and I couldn’t help but imagine how much my grandpa and his siblings probably dreaded every moment of it. Yet, it’s evident how those experiences shaped and sharpened their minds. Those seemingly small moments of discipline had a big impact—they went on to become lawyers and teachers, and my grandpa became an artist and illustrator.
As a travel writer, my daily reading and research on political, economic, and environmental events across borders have busted my worldview WIDE open. It’s given me a perspective that others might not always consider in their daily lives. I’m acutely aware of how interconnected everything is on a global scale, which can be almost suffocating.
At times, knowing the less glamorous side of travel and how much suffering occurs in corners we don’t often seek out feels like a burden. I have deadlines, but I struggle to tell stories neutrally without offending anyone. I hesitate to share certain places, knowing the impact a guide can have on a destination, yet I need to balance that with my responsibility as a writer. It’s a constant struggle between showcasing the world and protecting it.
I’m just one person, but the impact of my words is far greater than myself. For God's sake, my writing reaches over a million people’s inboxes! I feel that pressure every time I schedule my content.
Ultimately, knowledge is power; knowing too much is better than knowing too little. It serves as both a safety net and armor for navigating the world. For me, it makes my writing better and helps me appreciate the places and people I meet on my travels. I want to share a deeper understanding of the world that many can’t experience firsthand.
In the morning, when I sit down to read and research before I write, it can feel draining and repetitive, but I appreciate that discipline. Of course, it’s work, but it reminds me of my great-grandfather’s dedication to education and how it shaped the lives of our family.
I channel that same commitment to understanding the world around me. Just as he encouraged his kids to engage with the news and learn from it, I strive to absorb as much as I can from the places I visit, giving back tenfold.
I wish I could have met him to discuss his views on the world and share how his impact inspired this post. While I may not agree with all of his parenting methods, my kids will definitely be reading the morning papers (if they’re still printed by then)—and I will be quizzing them on what they read.
❤️❤️